Believe it or not,im probably the only one in my circle who gets about 4-5 dreams in one night.....wierdly i remember each one of them....even wierder...in details....n to break the records of wierdness...they seem so real they almost keep my head f****ed the whole day.
Ive had this for years....sometimes i think i should visit a counsellor..coz of the limits of imagination iv crossed in my dreams....
Ani is probably the only one who has heard each one of them....any mornin i sound upset...he knows its the dreams...
Both of us have thought a number of times that i should register what i see.....maybe years from now i might find a link......
Today was one of those days.....i din get a comfortable sleep....got up a number of times...consciously trying to get rid of the dream i was getting...but the minute i'd go back to bed,it would continue....imagine!its like a mute button in my head...the minute im back to sleep....it starts to function.....
These were the dreams i had last night -
-I saw my grandma in Jammu....the house looked wierd....practically zoom shots (as they call it in media)of the whole area....she has a new cat.....n it looks exactly like the cat i have at home....(rest i dont remember)
-Saw Shukla sitting on the bumper of a car outside an examination center...my car stops next to him..i get out of the car...unaware of his presence....or maybe i did not want to look the other side...he was nibbling something....(don knw the rest)
-Rupa n i are with a strange man in a hotel on top of a cliff...the view is great...outside our rooms window i can see a beautiful lake with algae and weed growing in it ...the sky is grey....but there's somethin wrong with the lake....when i get up from my sleep n look outside the window i see a white fiat car sunk inside the lake...i can feel somethings not right with the place.
-Saw my cousin all upset...he was crying...he wants to tell me something that i don wana hear....
Days like today really screw my head....imagine the dreams i just mentioned...n multiply them by hundreds.....now thatll freak the hell out of anyone.....n thats the number that ive vaguely seen....
Counsellors and psychiatrists number can be recommended...
F***** Sh***
Monday, February 27, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Shaadi.com
Im trying to get hold of the purrrr-fect girl for anirudh.....Knowing its not me....n the fact that HE thinks we r good FRIENDS....i thought i'd do the honors....
The list was too long.....so ive taken sometime...n here's the best way to find his match......
1.The first name of the girl should not start from the alphabets-A,B,C,D,E,F,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y AND Z.
2.The last name should not start from the alphabets -A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y AND Z.
3.The name can accidently rhyme with -"Sorry"
4.Oh! n,NO straight noses please.
All the eligible girls must send in their resumes to f-58,2nd floor,kalkaji...(JUS THE WAY I DID! :-)....)
The list was too long.....so ive taken sometime...n here's the best way to find his match......
1.The first name of the girl should not start from the alphabets-A,B,C,D,E,F,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y AND Z.
2.The last name should not start from the alphabets -A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y AND Z.
3.The name can accidently rhyme with -"Sorry"
4.Oh! n,NO straight noses please.
All the eligible girls must send in their resumes to f-58,2nd floor,kalkaji...(JUS THE WAY I DID! :-)....)
je suis la mer
'Breathe',said the sailor to himself.....
for the life in you is the very air she breathes.....
and he sailed forth the sea that waved.....and swelled...and beckoned...
she was there...only not with him.....
for the life in you is the very air she breathes.....
and he sailed forth the sea that waved.....and swelled...and beckoned...
she was there...only not with him.....
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Spicy affair....
Ani took me to Chor Bizaare yesterday...apparently the best place in the city to get authentic Kashmiri food.....My search for the most genuine Kashmiri fragrances and flavours ended in old delhi's Asaf Ali Road....
The mood wasnt right coz we've been going through a period of cold war...something common for couples who've been baring each other for over two years....
Without a single thought of bird flu thats terrorised the minds of millions in our country and around the world,i relished ova huge balls of meat....and chicken...and fish...and biryani......and....fried papads....and frozen fruit margarita....
Today,i sound like a hungry crow...thanks to the frozen drink....and ani has an upset stomach....couldn handle any more balls.....
Not the best way to end it all....but twas a treat afterall...
The mood wasnt right coz we've been going through a period of cold war...something common for couples who've been baring each other for over two years....
Without a single thought of bird flu thats terrorised the minds of millions in our country and around the world,i relished ova huge balls of meat....and chicken...and fish...and biryani......and....fried papads....and frozen fruit margarita....
Today,i sound like a hungry crow...thanks to the frozen drink....and ani has an upset stomach....couldn handle any more balls.....
Not the best way to end it all....but twas a treat afterall...
Monday, February 20, 2006
Less-than humans
They move in the core of the night,not man enough at times,and no woman wants to be associated to them,head covered under a cheap wig,and a garish coat of make-up,giving a striking glow to their decomposed shadows that have often been victims of sodomy.....They sing and dance not coz its their favourite timepass....its the only source of earning their bread.....
Kinnar...hijra...or eunuch...thanks to us,each one sounds equally derogatory...
I came across one a few days back....watching me pay a 10 rupee note to her a woman came dashing out from nowhere...extremely upset ova my act...in her words-i was 'arming' the eunuch.....giving her an easy way out to live life....She seemed quite unhappy with the eunuch who often moved around the area which was a playground for her kids(note-kids who went to affluent schools).....According to the lady,these people should try to find a job...as a domestic....a vocationl worker...but ironically refused to the idea of employing a eunuch in her own house...or factory....The woman tried her level best to make me understand that these people should be left alone(isolated-is the word)for their own empowerment....i dont get it!....a person who dosent share an equal status with either men...or women..or handicapped....or sc's...or tribals...or challenged....none!....in bare words the words-Status and Equal are not applicable to them....
The lady had all her facts wrong ...her misconception that numerous Governmet and Non-government organisations are currently working for their rights in India was wrong...
Iv been reading stuff on the internet on this issue for a few days now....n to my surprise there arent many organisations that are openly working for the MSM sector....n those who do can not provide them any placement in the so-called professional sector...These organisations are either involved in raising awareness about their sexual preferences...hiv/aids.....and fight for their rights by providing them legal assistance....But a lot can be done,provided the Government n those who frame the fate of the government are sensitised about this section of the society,that has been living in the shadows of ignorance for decades......
Tis ironic how the government can impose laws and duties on them.....like any other individual...yet there are NO rights available for this section of our community....
Getting to know the eunuch a little better(damn!i hate calling them that...forgot to ask her name)i realised how atleast once in their lifetime they try to get a decent job...but not to my surprise...they are either laughed at...or the rest of the employees refuse to work with them under the same roof.....
There is a difference between PROMISE and PERFORMANCE.....between WORDS and ACTIONS.....I believe one has no right to raise their opinion to such issues...if one has no concrete ALTERNATIVES.......its like forcing a beggar to leave begging..without offering valid alternatives....
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.It is not enough to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must be spread to others. In this world so filled with problems, so constantly threatened by dark and evil challenges, you can and must rise above mediocrity, above indifference. You can become involved and speak with a strong voice for that which is right. I believe in humanity. We are an incredible species. We're still just a child creature, we're still being nasty to each other. And all children go through those phases. We're growing up, we're moving into adolescence now. When we grow up - man, we're going to be something.
Kinnar...hijra...or eunuch...thanks to us,each one sounds equally derogatory...
I came across one a few days back....watching me pay a 10 rupee note to her a woman came dashing out from nowhere...extremely upset ova my act...in her words-i was 'arming' the eunuch.....giving her an easy way out to live life....She seemed quite unhappy with the eunuch who often moved around the area which was a playground for her kids(note-kids who went to affluent schools).....According to the lady,these people should try to find a job...as a domestic....a vocationl worker...but ironically refused to the idea of employing a eunuch in her own house...or factory....The woman tried her level best to make me understand that these people should be left alone(isolated-is the word)for their own empowerment....i dont get it!....a person who dosent share an equal status with either men...or women..or handicapped....or sc's...or tribals...or challenged....none!....in bare words the words-Status and Equal are not applicable to them....
The lady had all her facts wrong ...her misconception that numerous Governmet and Non-government organisations are currently working for their rights in India was wrong...
Iv been reading stuff on the internet on this issue for a few days now....n to my surprise there arent many organisations that are openly working for the MSM sector....n those who do can not provide them any placement in the so-called professional sector...These organisations are either involved in raising awareness about their sexual preferences...hiv/aids.....and fight for their rights by providing them legal assistance....But a lot can be done,provided the Government n those who frame the fate of the government are sensitised about this section of the society,that has been living in the shadows of ignorance for decades......
Tis ironic how the government can impose laws and duties on them.....like any other individual...yet there are NO rights available for this section of our community....
Getting to know the eunuch a little better(damn!i hate calling them that...forgot to ask her name)i realised how atleast once in their lifetime they try to get a decent job...but not to my surprise...they are either laughed at...or the rest of the employees refuse to work with them under the same roof.....
There is a difference between PROMISE and PERFORMANCE.....between WORDS and ACTIONS.....I believe one has no right to raise their opinion to such issues...if one has no concrete ALTERNATIVES.......its like forcing a beggar to leave begging..without offering valid alternatives....
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.It is not enough to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must be spread to others. In this world so filled with problems, so constantly threatened by dark and evil challenges, you can and must rise above mediocrity, above indifference. You can become involved and speak with a strong voice for that which is right. I believe in humanity. We are an incredible species. We're still just a child creature, we're still being nasty to each other. And all children go through those phases. We're growing up, we're moving into adolescence now. When we grow up - man, we're going to be something.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Valentine baba ki jai!
Valentines was here n i saw people getting all ready for it months before the Big day had arrived....the pleasure i saw on peoples faces was probably not there even when our country got independent....seriously...i recieved more texts on valentines than on my birthday.......
The following are the texts ive recieved in the past few years from my ardent fans......
-Liakat Ali-(wierd looking,extreemly white kashmiri guy who wanted to date me coz we were from the same community)-'GAURI i want to propose to you for one reason:
1.)Because you dont have a boyfriend.'(rejected)
-Ashish sharma-(Phattu guy who threw the rose in the bin afteri gave him the most disgusted look eva,only to pick it up again and give it to someone else when i left the room)'I want to date you coz i like the way you join your hands while you pray in the school assembly.'(rejected!)
-Konark Kondilya -(Ashish's friend who tried his luck the minute i rejected his best friend.The letter he gave me said)-'Some people are good with you,some are sweet,but i am the right guy for you.'(Definately rejected!)
-Himanshu Grover -(Doped 24/7,could stand against rain,snow and our principal)'I want to do friendship with you.'(REJECTED..REJECTED!!!)
-Hardev Kumar -(My pal for 7 years couldn belive that i could fall for someone else besides him...These are the things he did to win me back-
1.cut his wrist.
2.poisoned the guy i was dating(i mean poinsoned with words)
3.won the guy's confidence.
4.cried like a baby whose beaten up by a cane.
5.Bought 8 HORSES (believe it or not...for somepeople one can have anything if they have enough greens in their pocket.)
6.Said he wants two kids named Sadhvi and Sadhav...(Rejected for Life!!!!!!)
Ankur -(sends me a text each time he gets drunk.This was the one sent yesterday at 1:30 at night) 'i love you..very very much,its just that i cant say it coz im a phattu,i have been in a lot of relationships but tera chehra her taraf dikhta hai,i have been asking you out eva since i was in class 8th,plz dont reject me.'(Not only rejected but will also be beaten up if he eva comes across me)
Ankur(No.2)-(started dating my classmate from college coz he said she was the only one available.)He said..f**** hell f****** B*******M***(Rejected and currently going through counselling.)
Im too tired to think of more names...but tis quite obvious why all of them are still single....I mean if Mr Valentine was alive he would commit suicide and die again!....
I have neva understood the whole concept of 'ASKING OUT'....I wonder if it eva crosses their hollow minds how stupid they sound...I know what im saying is a subjective thing...
but who cares...IM DAMN RIGHT!
The following are the texts ive recieved in the past few years from my ardent fans......
-Liakat Ali-(wierd looking,extreemly white kashmiri guy who wanted to date me coz we were from the same community)-'GAURI i want to propose to you for one reason:
1.)Because you dont have a boyfriend.'(rejected)
-Ashish sharma-(Phattu guy who threw the rose in the bin afteri gave him the most disgusted look eva,only to pick it up again and give it to someone else when i left the room)'I want to date you coz i like the way you join your hands while you pray in the school assembly.'(rejected!)
-Konark Kondilya -(Ashish's friend who tried his luck the minute i rejected his best friend.The letter he gave me said)-'Some people are good with you,some are sweet,but i am the right guy for you.'(Definately rejected!)
-Himanshu Grover -(Doped 24/7,could stand against rain,snow and our principal)'I want to do friendship with you.'(REJECTED..REJECTED!!!)
-Hardev Kumar -(My pal for 7 years couldn belive that i could fall for someone else besides him...These are the things he did to win me back-
1.cut his wrist.
2.poisoned the guy i was dating(i mean poinsoned with words)
3.won the guy's confidence.
4.cried like a baby whose beaten up by a cane.
5.Bought 8 HORSES (believe it or not...for somepeople one can have anything if they have enough greens in their pocket.)
6.Said he wants two kids named Sadhvi and Sadhav...(Rejected for Life!!!!!!)
Ankur -(sends me a text each time he gets drunk.This was the one sent yesterday at 1:30 at night) 'i love you..very very much,its just that i cant say it coz im a phattu,i have been in a lot of relationships but tera chehra her taraf dikhta hai,i have been asking you out eva since i was in class 8th,plz dont reject me.'(Not only rejected but will also be beaten up if he eva comes across me)
Ankur(No.2)-(started dating my classmate from college coz he said she was the only one available.)He said..f**** hell f****** B*******M***(Rejected and currently going through counselling.)
Im too tired to think of more names...but tis quite obvious why all of them are still single....I mean if Mr Valentine was alive he would commit suicide and die again!....
I have neva understood the whole concept of 'ASKING OUT'....I wonder if it eva crosses their hollow minds how stupid they sound...I know what im saying is a subjective thing...
but who cares...IM DAMN RIGHT!
Dineshji-Episode no:1
The first thought that runs across anyone's head when he sees our production guy Dineshji is that this 6'feet guy is fit to be hung in a biology lab....u know the ones that can not afford a human skeleton...Dinu as some of us call him...shocked the living hell out of me when i first found out that he was married...n the other shock was that he had a six year old lille dinu back home!....any one could get a shock once they'd catch a glimpse of him.....
He's definately not a guy with too many interests...it seems as if his life rests on one thing-Cricket!....He's one of those crazy lads who love to watch a ball run along a field and is one who drops a tear or two when his favourite cricketer is bowled out....By the way...he really feels for Ganguly....Damn what do these people find in cricket....i believe...people who dont have certain logical interests-watch cricket....n here we have someone who worships it!....not surprised why....
Actualy he's not that turnin off....When Ani saw him for the first time,he thought he was quite a piece....dark,tall..n for Ani..handsome!.....he gets blown away each time he sees him....at times leaving some doubts in my head about Ani's preferences....
You should see him in his mood swings...he'll beat any woman's PMS(don i use this term too much?)...see how spicy food makes fire come out of his ears....n then at times how he'll embarass the hell outa you by going ovaboard with his jokes....
Enter office..n ull find him readind every posssible horoscope,tarot,karmic,numerological reading available on the net...unfortunately the good ones neva come true....not in his case....
On Muharram,his son called him up and said that his teacher had told him this was a day when all human beings beat their chests,cry and mourn...so he'll try to do that...not beat his chest...just mourn....when dineshji told me about this..i wondered...another dinesh in the making.....
Hell not talk coz he's pissed off for some random reason....then throw his handicapped jokes at us and laugh out loud alone....then act like the side-actors of who've been thrown out of NSD,taking out wierd voices and talking in wierd accents....oh! not to miss...sing his all time favourite song..
"meri jaan ke lachche..
aa bana doo tujhe jalidar kachche..
hava aati rahegi..."
He's definately not a guy with too many interests...it seems as if his life rests on one thing-Cricket!....He's one of those crazy lads who love to watch a ball run along a field and is one who drops a tear or two when his favourite cricketer is bowled out....By the way...he really feels for Ganguly....Damn what do these people find in cricket....i believe...people who dont have certain logical interests-watch cricket....n here we have someone who worships it!....not surprised why....
Actualy he's not that turnin off....When Ani saw him for the first time,he thought he was quite a piece....dark,tall..n for Ani..handsome!.....he gets blown away each time he sees him....at times leaving some doubts in my head about Ani's preferences....
You should see him in his mood swings...he'll beat any woman's PMS(don i use this term too much?)...see how spicy food makes fire come out of his ears....n then at times how he'll embarass the hell outa you by going ovaboard with his jokes....
Enter office..n ull find him readind every posssible horoscope,tarot,karmic,numerological reading available on the net...unfortunately the good ones neva come true....not in his case....
On Muharram,his son called him up and said that his teacher had told him this was a day when all human beings beat their chests,cry and mourn...so he'll try to do that...not beat his chest...just mourn....when dineshji told me about this..i wondered...another dinesh in the making.....
Hell not talk coz he's pissed off for some random reason....then throw his handicapped jokes at us and laugh out loud alone....then act like the side-actors of who've been thrown out of NSD,taking out wierd voices and talking in wierd accents....oh! not to miss...sing his all time favourite song..
"meri jaan ke lachche..
aa bana doo tujhe jalidar kachche..
hava aati rahegi..."
Monday, February 13, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
The Unbearable Lightness Of The Sinking Mind……..
Serendipity is by far one of my favourite words……simply coz it fits into my life well….coz if someone asks me to describe my life in one word…it would be –SERENDIPITOUS……..
Life’s been full of surprises…..that come across when I least expect them…….
The very thought of walking in the areas of Pharganj would beat the crap out of my senses….horns blowing at my face….i din know if I could be a part of the areas regular procession of stampede….for me,every rikshaw coming my way almost ran ova my feet……I wasn’t used to the smell…was it rotten carcass..i thought….or jus too many men peeing on these walls for years…….i wonder when they got their last coat of whitewash……maybe we’ll have to wait for the monsoons to wash it all off….
Why was I here?…I was fine in my posh colony where neither the smell nor the traffic had set foot……I squeezed my body through the tight streets of Paharganj following my boss and a man who was specially called to help us find our way to where we were going –The Salaam Baalak Trust…
The Salaam Baalak Trust is an organization that works with street and working children,who run away from their villages at a very young age due to poverty,alchoholic parents,or domestic violence.Most of these children get on trains and reach the metros where they are further victims of the police,mafia,and hunger…forcing them to beg on the streets or get into drug trafficking…The organization that has it’s shelter homes in different zones of the city rescues these children from the streets,keeps them in these shelter homes where they receive the necessary education and vocational training before they are placed in various sectors as responsible citizens..
I walked through streets which probably would be hard to find even if we looked through a map….dead rats,overflowing drains,men letching,more cows than people itself….the day couldn have been any worse….n then my mind kept churning ova the thought that I was going to meet a shelter full of children….all with a uniquely sad story of their own…..how unfortunate it is…I said to myself….many of them don’t even remember their parents names….others don’t want to….n still others who miss their loved ones…..i hope I don’t break into tears hearing their sad tales….During our festival at the National Bal Bahwan,one of these kids sang a song for his mother he had neva seen…..i still remember and audience of 800 children….all in tears ……I wasn’t ready for this….not yesterday….i had enough stories of my own that were bothering me…let alone someone elses….
So I finally reached one of their shelters called –Apna Ghar….we walked up to the first floor…entered an empty hall which was soon full of 50 children,who came running from all the possible corners…Namaste..Namaste…said each one of them as they settled on the rugs….Puneeta-my boss started interacting with them…asking them for their feedback on the festival….wait a minute!….none of them was sad…..as a matter of fact they were a family of 50 kids who talked more than all of the students in the Government schools all together,laughed like crazy….one of them wanted to participate in The Great Indian Comedy Show-his friends said he was the entertainer in the lot…another learnt karate…yet another loved to show me his moves on-Ashique Banaya….one room….n so much energy…
There was too much to wory about…..only before I set my foot here….there were no sad faces…no complaints…only eager eyes…and joyous souls..who wanted the outside world to accept them….as equals….
So after a while we walked back to the station….climbed the first floor of the police chowki which was now one of the organization's offices….its ironic when sometimes what you dread the most turns out to be a sole player in making your day…..i've neva seen the Railway station like I saw it yesterday….from the police Chowki’s balcony….the birds flew in circles around the setting sun….The hustle-bustle at the station din bother me for a while….infact it all seemed just perfect..
I thought I was in pain...before i saw them...
I thought I was alive......before I saw them...
Life’s been full of surprises…..that come across when I least expect them…….
The very thought of walking in the areas of Pharganj would beat the crap out of my senses….horns blowing at my face….i din know if I could be a part of the areas regular procession of stampede….for me,every rikshaw coming my way almost ran ova my feet……I wasn’t used to the smell…was it rotten carcass..i thought….or jus too many men peeing on these walls for years…….i wonder when they got their last coat of whitewash……maybe we’ll have to wait for the monsoons to wash it all off….
Why was I here?…I was fine in my posh colony where neither the smell nor the traffic had set foot……I squeezed my body through the tight streets of Paharganj following my boss and a man who was specially called to help us find our way to where we were going –The Salaam Baalak Trust…
The Salaam Baalak Trust is an organization that works with street and working children,who run away from their villages at a very young age due to poverty,alchoholic parents,or domestic violence.Most of these children get on trains and reach the metros where they are further victims of the police,mafia,and hunger…forcing them to beg on the streets or get into drug trafficking…The organization that has it’s shelter homes in different zones of the city rescues these children from the streets,keeps them in these shelter homes where they receive the necessary education and vocational training before they are placed in various sectors as responsible citizens..
I walked through streets which probably would be hard to find even if we looked through a map….dead rats,overflowing drains,men letching,more cows than people itself….the day couldn have been any worse….n then my mind kept churning ova the thought that I was going to meet a shelter full of children….all with a uniquely sad story of their own…..how unfortunate it is…I said to myself….many of them don’t even remember their parents names….others don’t want to….n still others who miss their loved ones…..i hope I don’t break into tears hearing their sad tales….During our festival at the National Bal Bahwan,one of these kids sang a song for his mother he had neva seen…..i still remember and audience of 800 children….all in tears ……I wasn’t ready for this….not yesterday….i had enough stories of my own that were bothering me…let alone someone elses….
So I finally reached one of their shelters called –Apna Ghar….we walked up to the first floor…entered an empty hall which was soon full of 50 children,who came running from all the possible corners…Namaste..Namaste…said each one of them as they settled on the rugs….Puneeta-my boss started interacting with them…asking them for their feedback on the festival….wait a minute!….none of them was sad…..as a matter of fact they were a family of 50 kids who talked more than all of the students in the Government schools all together,laughed like crazy….one of them wanted to participate in The Great Indian Comedy Show-his friends said he was the entertainer in the lot…another learnt karate…yet another loved to show me his moves on-Ashique Banaya….one room….n so much energy…
There was too much to wory about…..only before I set my foot here….there were no sad faces…no complaints…only eager eyes…and joyous souls..who wanted the outside world to accept them….as equals….
So after a while we walked back to the station….climbed the first floor of the police chowki which was now one of the organization's offices….its ironic when sometimes what you dread the most turns out to be a sole player in making your day…..i've neva seen the Railway station like I saw it yesterday….from the police Chowki’s balcony….the birds flew in circles around the setting sun….The hustle-bustle at the station din bother me for a while….infact it all seemed just perfect..
I thought I was in pain...before i saw them...
I thought I was alive......before I saw them...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
wants v/s needs....desires v/s Deserve.........
Sometimes its difficult to draw a line between what i desire and what i deserve.....i think i deserve what i desire......but i dont guide my 'self'..........time guides the self in me.......
Dad once made me read a phrase that said...'dont do things that make you feel good.....do those that are right'.......i think i can hear him say this again after years...
I choose to remain silent in my shell.........ive said so much.....now silence seems more complete........there's a constant conflict between happiness and content........i need to be content...n not just seek for petty happiness...........yeah thats what i did ....again....i 'sought'(comment taken into consideration)happiness....thats where i went wrong....thats why my SELF is not content.
I'm driven by my passions....they keep my spirit alive..n my passions lie in what i do....It keeps me fully in the present, so that time becomes a series of mutually exclusive 'nows.'
Dad once made me read a phrase that said...'dont do things that make you feel good.....do those that are right'.......i think i can hear him say this again after years...
I choose to remain silent in my shell.........ive said so much.....now silence seems more complete........there's a constant conflict between happiness and content........i need to be content...n not just seek for petty happiness...........yeah thats what i did ....again....i 'sought'(comment taken into consideration)happiness....thats where i went wrong....thats why my SELF is not content.
I'm driven by my passions....they keep my spirit alive..n my passions lie in what i do....It keeps me fully in the present, so that time becomes a series of mutually exclusive 'nows.'
Something fishy...
I thought work would make me grow.........all i see is myself AGEING....besides everything else....EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!
Anis realised how im constantly going through a PMS.....ME!....PMS!....Do you know why he calls it 'P.M.S'?....Coz mad cow disease was already taken.............
Btw.....i n my friend Kakuli are the only two LIVE things in this office..(besides our eight fishes).....the rest of them only breathe....
Our fishes...they are great...we've decided to call them -Tipu Sultans,Chengez Khans,Anarkalis and Maharana Prataps(remember there are four pairs)...the name fixing is still going on......Kaku's gone to 'do' her fiance....n im writing crap in my free time......
Anis realised how im constantly going through a PMS.....ME!....PMS!....Do you know why he calls it 'P.M.S'?....Coz mad cow disease was already taken.............
Btw.....i n my friend Kakuli are the only two LIVE things in this office..(besides our eight fishes).....the rest of them only breathe....
Our fishes...they are great...we've decided to call them -Tipu Sultans,Chengez Khans,Anarkalis and Maharana Prataps(remember there are four pairs)...the name fixing is still going on......Kaku's gone to 'do' her fiance....n im writing crap in my free time......
Monday, February 06, 2006
un jour silencieux
Ama me fideliter! Fidem meam noto: De corde totaliter Et ex mente tota, Sum presentialiter Absens in remota."
Lat: "Love me faithfully!/See how I am faithful:/With all my heart/And all my soul/I am with you/Though I am far away."
Ani,parfois vous regarder et le connaître ne seront pas pour trop long est plus de diffficult que la vie sans vous.
Lat: "Love me faithfully!/See how I am faithful:/With all my heart/And all my soul/I am with you/Though I am far away."
Ani,parfois vous regarder et le connaître ne seront pas pour trop long est plus de diffficult que la vie sans vous.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
'Sher - E - Bengal'
I don rememba talkin bout any of my seniors after they passed out of school or college,not even those on whose farewell i dropped a tear or two....its strange how we think things will be so different after they leave.....but 2 months hence...we don even remember if they eva existed...
The only exception i can think of is Ani.Aniruddho Chokroborthy Hoque takes all the prizes for the most talked about,hated,joked about,wierd,animal like creature that eva existed in the history of Mother's International School and Sri Venkateshwara College.....Everything from pointing at girls cleaveges and calling them hairy,to throwing stones in peoples food,to mooning his teacher in his class,to making out in the girls loo in school and being caught,to fart the loudest in his class,to fingering his ex-girlfriend without eva getting to see her boobs(I mean thats where they go first...i suppose),to randomly asking people for cold drinks without even knowing them,to sticking gum in a girl's hair forcing her to chop the lovely locks off,to have the most cacophonic laugh eva,bad enough to force the birds to flee,and last but not the least shocking the entire world by completing 2 years in a relationship with a girl who people thought would neva even look at him.
My cousin who studied in his school cant stop talking about his crazy acts.....in her words,'Ani transformed a sober class into a bunch of 'junglees'.....My brother's friend jus joined my college...the first words that came out of his mouth when he met Ani a few days back were..'Oh Ani!...Everyone hates you in college...'
Ani's done the job....he's pissed all of them enough to not let them forget him for a decade......He was gooooooooood at all he did....not that all was right....but it was all good....and he loved it....he hasnt missed out on his share of fun....even when sometimes i was keeping a watch on him so that he dosen go ovaboard....
I havnt come across a crazier guy in my life....n im sure same goes for all those who've met him.....His sneeze will scare you,hell make you grind your teeth....but in my memories of college....he was... and will be the only guy who added life to his environment....
I can neva be like him......when i look at him i find him completing the other side of me....he makes me possesive..and sometimes a little like him...
The only exception i can think of is Ani.Aniruddho Chokroborthy Hoque takes all the prizes for the most talked about,hated,joked about,wierd,animal like creature that eva existed in the history of Mother's International School and Sri Venkateshwara College.....Everything from pointing at girls cleaveges and calling them hairy,to throwing stones in peoples food,to mooning his teacher in his class,to making out in the girls loo in school and being caught,to fart the loudest in his class,to fingering his ex-girlfriend without eva getting to see her boobs(I mean thats where they go first...i suppose),to randomly asking people for cold drinks without even knowing them,to sticking gum in a girl's hair forcing her to chop the lovely locks off,to have the most cacophonic laugh eva,bad enough to force the birds to flee,and last but not the least shocking the entire world by completing 2 years in a relationship with a girl who people thought would neva even look at him.
My cousin who studied in his school cant stop talking about his crazy acts.....in her words,'Ani transformed a sober class into a bunch of 'junglees'.....My brother's friend jus joined my college...the first words that came out of his mouth when he met Ani a few days back were..'Oh Ani!...Everyone hates you in college...'
Ani's done the job....he's pissed all of them enough to not let them forget him for a decade......He was gooooooooood at all he did....not that all was right....but it was all good....and he loved it....he hasnt missed out on his share of fun....even when sometimes i was keeping a watch on him so that he dosen go ovaboard....
I havnt come across a crazier guy in my life....n im sure same goes for all those who've met him.....His sneeze will scare you,hell make you grind your teeth....but in my memories of college....he was... and will be the only guy who added life to his environment....
I can neva be like him......when i look at him i find him completing the other side of me....he makes me possesive..and sometimes a little like him...
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