stuck in a sandclock

I was never a goobye person.......could never see my near n dear ones walk away .....even if it is just a matter of a few days....thats why i was never the best person to rely on to drop someone at the railway station or the airport....

i panic at the site of packed luggage....and sound of women who make announcements.........

maa's been travelling for years now......but i still need to muster a lot of strenght to drop her off to the station......Yesterday i had to do that........initially the last minute wait for the train to leave killed me...then seeing the train move off the platform did something to my stomach.....

the problem is a very temperory one........it lasts only for a few minutes....but ive somehow never grown used to it......

i still somehow prefer to stay back home pretending 'nobody's leaving...they just going out for a while'........

The distance between u and your loved one, while they are walking away....rubs through all the memories that were bulit over a lifetime.....


"Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World."

-Christopher Columbus

Enlightenment - a sublime word, means illumination of the spirit through truth, liberation from the shadows of error, or uncertainty, of doubt.

Enlightenment is, in its deepest meaning, the transfiguration of reason.

This is something i read just now...n i quite liked it:


If a turtle loses its shell..is it naked or homeless?


P.S: I hate the rain today..
but i like what its done to the trees..

First night with frost.
The celestial bodies shine
more clearly on everything.

my turquoise mind...

Its a good day....

I woke up at five today thinking i was somewhere else....

Yesterday i purchased the most expensive bag of my life.......then cribbed for the rest of the day over its cost...

Two days back i suceeded in bearing 2 girls with a loudspeaker in their throats...

Three days back...i realized how some people take a hell lot of a time to pick up a simple pair of jeans....

Four days back i took three minutes to go gaga over another pair of jeans...


Lots of expense...
pampering maa...
swiping cards...
stalking men...
rash cars...
true faces...
false notions...
hot guys....
hot 'tempered ' guys...
My sharona.....
karnalofonia...
happy days...
happy birthday...
black tea...
powerpoint presentations...
a thirsty kid on the road...
40 eyes....all ignore...
incomplete fates....
4 engagements.....
4 weddings...
no love....
friends who matter...
who mean...
who are "mean"..
those who wait....
who move on...
who look back...
who walk...
right next...
two kittens...
in dad's shoes...
the most facinating paws..
the most beautiful eyes...
concerned daddy...
stupid daddy...
dopey adi...
childish maa...

me.......alive n living

between
two mirrors---
eternity

summer music --
outgoing tide carrying
pebbles back to sea

Break free from the web of my thoughts..

The place that i am currently breathing in....is a place where Hierarchy and Power belong to those who are related by blood....not those who loose their blood and sweat, so that the ones they work for recieve their loaded paychecks.

Its the Aparthied of the powerful against the weak...
Slavery of the ameteurs...
Stratification of fellings under pressures and duties...

Ive been grilled and handed over all the tasks that initially i wasnt supposed to do....now i have to do em coz bosses cant see their employees sit at ease while they run for work..

Will i also be the same when i reach that stage?

wind blown snow
never quite covers
the branch's shadow

a taste of life

Looking through my living - room's window when it rains outside has lately become my second most favourite timepass........
Then sitting with Adi in the lawn when there's no electricity...while he plays the guitar is the third best.

The best......is when im "at home"

Ive been at the recieving end for so many years...........till very recently that i started relishing the sheer pleasure of 'giving'.

I like the rain.
drip drip..
fog on the glass window..
bathed leaves of the gulmohur tree..
tyres passing through sunk roads...
i like the rain...
flowing hair against the cool winds..
holding a warm cup of tea from the roadside..
the sound of the wiper...
maa humming 70's songs...
...................................................

lily,
on your petals this morning,
a serving of sun

Chand phir niklaaaaa

The Tehelka staff was doing just fine till our Editor - in - Chief decided to call his balled, 'tharki', old brother to Delhi.

I've had something against this bushy eyebrowed lunar eclipse, from the time i first saw him...or should i say - 'he' first lay his dirty eyes on me......

It was'nt long that i realized how this balled owl would sit next to me pretending he absolutely adored my fish, purely to have a good letching session.......then i gave my fish away.......n each time he'd come to me, he'd ask about the fish.......

"i think ive told you 1678 times they are not here!".i really wish i could say this to him............but i'd keep shut and say...they're gone....

Daybefore yesterday, i recieved a call on my extension...it was Mr. Taklu asking me to come to the conference room once i was free from work.....Dineshji smiled....n i looked at him and said -" if you hear someone being beaten up to pulp, just know its the Tharki"

So i walked inside the conference room...and this is how our conversation went:

Ujada Chaman: Come come sit sit...its soooo wonderful to see you again.

Me: Have you shifted your base to Delhi...sir...( fingers crossed)

Ujada Chaman : Yes darling, i'll be on your floor for good ( damn, DAMN, DAMN!)
So tell me about yourself, where are you from, how did you land up here?

Me: Sir..blahblahblahblahblah

Ujada Chaman: Gauri,( oogling at me), i must say, i am extreeeemly impressed by you. How old are you?

Me: 22

Ujada Chaman: 22 and this mature....whoa.....im very impressed...
Tell me about the projects you are handling here at The Foundation?

( My hair kept falling on my face and i have a habit of moving them back with my fingers constantly...its irritating you know)

Ujada chaman: Let it fall, let it be, it looks really nice like this....you have a nice delicate face, it looks really pretty like this.

Me: (shocked!..n i pretended i did'nt hear anything, and went on about the projects we are currently working on.)

Ujada Chaman: Have you ever thought of shifting to Maketing?...you'll be really good at it....

Me: Sir, i love what im doing, its my passion, not just my work, i would'nt leave it for nothing. I know this organisation is small, but we'll nurture it, it'll grow, it will.

Ujada Chaman: Aah! thats wonderful, im really impressed by you gauri. You are a smart girl.

( i started moving my hair back again)

Ujada Chaman: Let it fall na...it looks really good.

Me: (Dying to walk out immediately)

It all ended with Mr. Tejpal's call for his eclipsed brother.

Ujada Chaman: I love chatting with you, we are going to have these chatting sessions often now.


I came out n told my boss the whole story, she clearly told me to not bother about whose who in this office....it dosent matter he's the bosses brother..and next time i should just not entertain him at all.........

Its good you know, to have female heads in an organization........i feel extremely safe......something thats been an issue for a lot of my friends in other organizations.

Takle...tu to gaya!

something to look forward to

stormy night,
still one bright star,
for wishing.

No If...No But....Only Jatt

Mind It....Its Jatts im taking about...not Jats....Its a group within the sikh comunity who for some reason believe they've been blessed with more brains as compared to their turbaned counterparts....

I've known a Jat friend earlier....and for the past few months ive been blessed to know a Jatt......Four months of observation...and ive found out how both Jatts and Jats are pretty much the same.....

These were a few Jatt traits ive observed:

- They are by far one of the most fierce breed of Indians. I highly recommend them to stop eating red meat.
- They love to talk...
- They love to drink...
- They love to talk about themselves once they are drunk....
- They have an amazing capacity to eat...
- The first impression they'll try to give when they are normal is that they are looking for someone to bash up...
- The first impression they'l give once they are drunk is that they've just bashed someone up...
- So its pretty much clear...they look for excuses to fight once boose goes down their throat..
- But nomatter how macho..or manly they look...they are extremely sensitive...
- Yes, they know how to say the right things at the right time...atleast at times....
- And they will break down if they are upset..

Miyaki...did you know you were like a coconut?

It was wierd this morning you know....on one side of my room lay Ayela....motionless.....her body had turned hard as wood...she did'nt respond to my call.......she was never going to respond...never going to get up...ever again........

On the other side of my room there were two little kittens still awaiting to open their eyes to the world.....

Life ended in one corner...and started in the other.....

i just sat there.....not knowing what to do......mourn....or rejoice over life....