i warned you for a long long time...

this is only the beginning..

what goes round..has just begun coming around


:-)




http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=beX7sZ-smvk

FINALLY!

i have the most amazing notebook ive bought from my sweat n blood....its beautiful..its high end...and it would have not been possible had Chacha Chaudhury not accompanied me..

yEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

the day roopa decided to grow from
the left ankle of the fairy's tattoo that brought
a lot more color that just the blue on my dress
Happy Birthday Roops!

and then she was the one..

Gujarat for me will not be a mere sumulation exercize on ICS
Ive met some wonderful people...some usual 40 uear old's and had an
Opportunity to drive around in the reserve when its closed for general public..
guess the District Magistrate was too much in love to be personally
accompanying me leaving behind Ex-Chief-Ministers, Secy, Govt of India..

as long as i got to go on the joy ride...its all ok..

sometimes i wish life for now would have been so much easier if i were like you...

would have spent less time in generating hatred

you know the advertisement box on the top of my blog screen says "marry your dream partner"..

ive been having really scary dreams lately?@13$

"You know the most beautiful and powerful part about you is that the only thing that seperates me and the world is you.."

- Ani

im trying to figure out whats too much

cheating or the fact that you can look into someone's eyes after the brave act

or

cheating or the fact you can look into someone's eyes and justify it

or

cheating or the fact that you look into someone's eyes with fierce anger and try to manipulate and show him/her down

im surprised at how all men want a woman besides them who seems like a shadow of their mums..

stands by them through thick and thin...never betrays or lies...

their future wife...their kids mother...


what surprises me is that the man should not necessarily have all or rather any of these qualities himself....and wants a woman whose nothing like he is....

i sometimes think if i was this bitchy, available chick who laid/got laid for pleasure....would i want a man whose all clean....maybe...maybe coz i want someone to help me get over my real self...someone who makes me forget "THIS IS WHO YOU REALLY ARE"

ISNT IT?....Mr. *******

Remember some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them!

....was a line in one of the forward messages sent today..

i never thought id be this happy to hear that someone is leaving for the next 5-7 years to grab his dream..but meeting him yesterday..and hearing about the hot and the sweet chicks he's met...his bakery..his "mum"...his PHD..his music was great...
sometimes you have to let people go to make sure both stay happy...

you are the rain in September...that was found somewhere next to my palm tree

and then...
TGIF..
chocolate dreams..
abusive mails..
heart breaks..
mohitos..
holiday packages..
butter prawn..
pills..
old friends..
old boyfriends..
fighting couples..
california..
training programs..
overage..
underage..
hunger..
depression..
travel plans..
faith..
gods and godessess..
swamyji..
given up...not given up...given up...not given up...given up..not given up..given up..not given up..given up...not given up...given up..not given up..

two sheikhs

and a bottle of coco chanel

the 'once upon a time' loved one..reduced to a present day password....

grown over the state of mush..i live in my own virtual periphery of magnetic cynicism that now pumps my heart with the most potent justification to keep moving on and on

and on

i happended to come across the most filmy co-incidence during the trip i made last week. i thought ive mentioned so much rona dhona..why not share the interesting bits...

my journey from calcutta to silchar was blessed with the most uncomfortable, antique ATR journey ever. The plane made all possible moves that even rajnikanth would take a decade to learn...right next to me was a 20 something guy....both of us..for 2 hours sat as if no one was sitting next to us.....6 days later while crying on the airport i noticed the same guy walk in to the check in....then he boarded the same flight as i did...then to my surprise...again he was sitting right next to me....

the plane took off...with two surprised faces...20 minutes had passed and the two of us had mainted our silence and our composure....then he spoke "wernt you travelling with me on tuesday"...filmy ha!...i smiled....then started the chit chat...anyway..his name is Pranjal...a 29 year old engineer with the Tatas who found my panic attacks due to cloud pockets quite amusing..i got off at the Calcutta airport from where i had to take another flight to delhi in 3 hours....

The chit-chat kept me busy..and clamed me down after the torture i had been through the night before...at the airport he asked if i was ok in him accompanying me for lunch as his family was till back in Silchar and he had no option but to eat out..n i agreed......

I had a nice chat session with him for 2 hours over some food and beer ....about politics and zodiac signs....training civil servants and marriage plans.....religion and nightlife.....

i told him how strange it was for me to have lunch and beer with a stranger...but it was great...its rare one gets to meet an intellegent, calm, "appealing" man on a plane twice!

and believe me...i wanted nothing out of it...dont want to meet him again..he's never been to delhi..and i dont see myself going to calcutta...but we really clicked...and it felt great...to just be in the moment..and not expect...it really dosent matter if well meet or talk over the phone in the future or not...and for a girl like me who expects so bloody much from people around me..this was a good feeling :)

im still not over the silchar incident...maybe coz the old lad repeatedly texted me even after my father threatening him...i recieved a sigh of relief when i told my boss yesterday about the incident...i had an option to get him sacked, ruin his carreer as a respected state level officer...but i did'nt..

but if i look back...its funny how 40 year old start reliving his days of being 18 ... the following was a शेर that was not only written for me..but was also shared infront of a batch of 18 civil servants..

आपका यूं सिलचर आना...किसी इन्सिदेंत से कम नही

हमारा दिल आप पर अजना ...इसमे हमें कोई शक नही

दूर दूर तक चा गए हैं इन्सिदेंत के साए..हम केहेते है ये इन्सिदेंत लौट कर वापस यहीं आये......

..................................................

people who know me well...can imagine how my face might have looked at that moment.

the second shock was a bunch of 20 revolutionaries who stopped my car on the way to the airport...and refused to let our car move....we were forced to call the deputy commissioner and a police patrol car was sent to rescuse us and escort us to the airport...

i spent two hours at the airport crying like a 3 year old...still not over the shock i receieved the night before...stranded on the shillong highway coz of a drunk maniac...i did not think i would escape safely.....after this..the revolutionaries stopping us was not such a big surprise..i was too numb to anything that followed.......

talk about a happening life....!

the Thematic Battle to kill the False being Within

if we admit that life can be ruled by reason.....the possibility of life gets destroyed...

returned from silchar last night
and i havent felt this physically and emotionally drained in ages
My return journey from delhi to silchar and then back home was accompanied by near death miss accident, ATR planes that break dance in the air, 10 hours of extensive studying everyday and an obsessive 40 year old civil servant who tortured me at 1 am on the silchar - shillong highway, terrorizing me to death..followed by over a 100 calls and 50 texts...

home coming was never this better...

i wish i was one of the superheroes from the incredibles :)

but no honestly..most people who saw my super x... said there was a lot of similarity...

im supposed to take that one as a complement..right!

Prateek left the city today...

i should be trained in people leaving by now...but this ones too much to handle....told him yesterday..im not good at bye-byes


(p.s.: Questworld..Oooh so sad is a very sad response to this one...you really dont know how difficult it is for me to survive without people i love...and im not very proud of this impractical quality of mine)

Freak Weather

Not even half way down the year..everyone's moving on with their life

sid leaves in a day
Doctor's gone
Hardev's belly dancing in UAE
Prateek leaves in a month's time

wah kya zindagi hai

this gives me a bigger reason to bunjee jump from a cliff.....without the safety rope that is

i swear to drunk im not god